Let’s Really Talk About Suicide Prevention
Some Simple Wisdom
In the world of the Department of Veterans Affairs and the federal government’s observances, this is Suicide Prevention Month. National Ice Cream month probably gets greater attention. Current efforts to reduce suicides in our nation have been abysmally poor considering the time and money spent. Although a problem does exist (and did not just appear all of a sudden), the supporting statistics remain questionable. The association with military service is misleading. Central causes are ignored. And the often insinuated, uncorroborated supposition that suicides are due to abnormal mental states — that is, mental illness — encourages us to leave the matter to some specialized organization, professional, or “certified” individual. In a sense, the common community ends up looking the other way and tsk-tsking.
Consequently, it was refreshing to run across the following article that makes practical, everyday sense of the usual situation, and reminds us of the importance of applying humanity to help. The advice comes comes from a prisoner in a high security state prison. This man understands an important response for reducing suicides sometimes forgotten by others: the need for basic, compassionate human interaction.
Let’s Talk Suicide
by Duane Keith Wykoff
[Editor’s Note: The article is reprinted with the permission of the author, a Marine veteran incarcerated at SCI Phoenix, who originally wrote it for the Autumn edition of the “The Bugle”, an internal prison newsletter geared towards veterans.]
The lyrics to the theme song for the hit TV series MASH reads: “Suicide is painless…” I’m here to tell you that nothing could be further from the truth. Nothing about suicide is painless, not for the individual set upon completing the act, and certainly not for those left behind having to pick up the pieces of their lives and then carry on after a loved one or friend has completed the act. Perhaps you have had a loved one or friend that had completed suicide. Was it painless for you? What were your thoughts, emotions, questions, and conclusions?
In 2021, according to the CDC website, 48,000 people completed suicide in that year alone. If we take a U.S. population of 360 million for that year, that is roughly 1.25% of the population lost through suicide. According to the VA website, 17 to 22 veterans a day complete suicide, meaning 6,000 to 8,000 veterans are lost each year through suicide. Finally, according to the DoD website, 492 active duty military members completed suicide in 2022.
If you recall a few years back, on the in-house TV channel, a suicide prevention video was run (a lot) in which I spoke, so you are aware of my own personal story and experience in this matter. Some may think that suicide is a “cop-out”, or the “easy” way out, or even a cowardly act. That’s okay, each of us is entitled to think, believe, and hold whatever point of view we wish, even to be wrong.
The basic, primal instinct of every living creature upon this earth, including man, is to survive, to stay alive at all costs. Overcoming that instinct takes a tremendous amount of energy and effort; energy and effort which if channeled in the opposite direction would result in a very different outcome for anyone plagued by suicidal thought or ideation.
For me, I found myself in a place in my life where I was filled with self-loathing, hatred, and disgust for the life I had led up to that point, and all the harm, injury, and destruction of life I had inflicted upon so many others, known and unknown. I found myself in a place where I could no longer avoid or continue to lie to myself any longer and had to face “the man in the mirror,” and when I did, what I saw looking back at me was a monster. It’s not the same for everyone, it’s not one size fits all, but one element is universal.
The DOC recently conducted a study of suicides within its system and found that 95% were accomplished when the inmate was alone. Alone may be understood as the inmate was Z-coded [mandatory single cell] at the time, without a cellmate at the time, or the cellmate was absent for some reason. The result was a complete revamping of the policy for Z-codes in the DOC. Did they find the cause of suicide? No, they did not. What they found was an obstacle they could place in the way of someone either contemplating or actively engaged in carrying out the act of suicide. Thank about it, is suicide (aside from so-called “suicide bombers”) a public or a private act?
What drives suicide is hopelessness. It was certainly true in my own experience. That is why hope is so essential to human beings. Without it, life is cold, unfulfilling, cruel, and pointless. That is why when you come across someone that may be contemplating or actively pursuing suicide, you hold that gate of hope open for them until they once again are able to do so on their own.
You have all heard many times the signs to look for in individuals that act as “tells” indicating they may be on the path of suicide. In general, they work pretty well, but here’s one better way to see where an individual may be – ask them!
You will not, by asking if a person is thinking about suicide, plant the idea in that person’s mind. It’s either there or it’s not. However, you may get that person to open up and confide in you. If you’ve had a personal experience in this area within your life, you can share that and how you got through it. If you have not had that experience, you can still offer counter thoughts for that person to consider and support them. Do so compassionately, holding back judgement, opinion, and catchy adages which mean nothing. Listen, connect, ask questions leading to more thought and consideration, and then refer them to help from professionals. If they are resistant, offer to go with them, and the final option – report your concern. That person’s life is literally in your hands. If he or she is unable to help themselves, then you be their help, their lifeline.
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As of 18 September 2024